Wednesday, July 1, 2009

This Page Could Have Been Left Blank

It would have been much easier to not write anything at all.

Really I should be job hunting. Absurd how we feed ourselves now that we have all gone digital.

Resume’ as my quill, bullshit my arrows, the classified section is the rippling flesh of my fleeing prey.

This page could have been left blank, you know.

Probably should have been, because aren’t I supposed to be looking for love? Don’t I mind night after night of sleeping alone?

And what do the others guys tell me? That I should be adding notches to my belt every chance I get?

Should have left it blank.

There are so many errands I could be running right now. Or grad programs to apply for. And what is my purpose here, anyway? Damn I really need to get that smog check.

If I just had the sense to leave this page blank I never would have had to leave that busy city to come and sit on this beach.

I never would have had to watch that enormous lion-maned sun sitting with its chin resting against the horizon.

Another Japanese sunrise from the shores of California.

If I had just stayed home, content to leave this page as it was, I could have allowed myself much more time for self-criticism.

I could have let my day’s opalescent energy turn black and sticky, hanging in little globules from my ribcage.

I could have let all of the words that are now lying across this page pool up in a little dimple in my brain and condense into a mere six letters: C-A-N-C-E-R.

But at least this page would still be blank.

December 2007
Henry Cowell Beach, CA

No comments:

Post a Comment