Now I’m going to sleep in an abandoned building, because I’m just that kind of guy. I’m going to buy two hamburgers and a quart of beer to make it all a little more epic, so that being alone feels somehow important, even cool, instead of plain old sad, and lovesick for no one in particular.
You want to know what inspired all of this? What movie it was I just went to see? I wasn’t going to tell you because it’s embarrassing, and honestly I didn’t even think it was very good, but damn it all, the love story was convincing, and the ending sweet, and oh what the fuck, it was Zach and Miri Make A Porno, alright? Fuck you!
And now I’m full of: “When’s my turn?” and “What if it never happens…?” and “Can it really be like that?” And you know what? Fuck yes it can, because the sky doesn’t dress in pink for just anyone, and if the whole world is holding on to the possibility then why shouldn’t I?
I’ll give up when she does, and it’ll be one hell of a bloody apocalypse when that cloudy eyed bride sits in the tub and opens her wrists for all of us to fly through, but until then, it’s beer and hamburgers for me, and sappy romantic comedies, and the belief that there actually is the truest of true loves out there. Motherfucker.